christmas vacation

by M. L. Morrill

Have you seen those Family Vacation movies? you know the one with chevy chase? Yeah, neither have I. But that’s how I imagine our family is like. we wake up looking forward to our visit to San Diego. Then no one calls each other on when who is supposed to be where, so that so-n-so can be picked up at what time.

So we get on our way at 2 when we wanted to leave at 12. and then driving down there is nuts like no one can drive. switching from the 110 to the five we almost get sideswiped by a rav4 or something. Emily make the wise choice and nibbles on a xanex, all while I am not sure but then realize that we really could have died, but my parents are calm as Hindu cows. and so I am overcome by waves of anxiety, I really just want to scream.

I mean, when I’m riding a bike and someone honks or almost runs me over, I shout or scream “fuck you” and get that shit out of me. but have you ever almost died sealed in a car while no one acts like anything happened? Have you almost died to the sound of Christmas songs?

Yeah, so we went to see my uncle on Monday, the day after Christmas. it was chill. My uncle’s roommate is super hospitable. My uncle has some bomb ass slot cars, ones that look like exact replicas of real historical cars. We didn’t talk too much about cars though, which stinks. Before I rode bikes, I was a car nut. I loved the look and sound of cars, and what they symbolized. But as i started riding bikes [to work at a Saturn dealership] and i read a bunch of crimethinc, cars began to symbolize something else, greed, pollution, those things that were screaming at me and almost killing me. this was also the time i lived in Monrovia, which if you’ve ever biked through there on the regs, is a totally shitty thing to deal with, but anyways yeah cars went from my love to my enemy. and now i love them again, but I’m too broke to support a money pit like a car. I mean if i was gonna spend that kind of money, i would spend it on my girl, because she’s way radder than a car.[don’t stop me, I’m going for the world record digression right here]

The day before Christmas was a whole ‘nother experience. Where I went to Santa Clarita, on the other side of the angeles crest mountains. There I spent the evening with My aunt, who made racist jokes about a Filipino veterinarian eating dogs. She’s a sweet heart, but i was in disbelief as she kept going. Emily says that what listening to 2 hours of radio on the drive to work does to a person’s mind. That was nice though, i got a real nice California hoodie. I was really hoping for a Forever Lazy, I really want one.

oh, what was my point? ugh, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!